How to Deal with Conflict

Dear Younger Me,

Have you ever been in one of “those” conversations?

You know what I’m talking about.

We all have them.

They happen to everyone, with everyone, where anyone may be.

I recently had one of those conversations:

A judgment conversation.

One of those conversations where you just start talking about someone. Or something. Or some process. Or some meeting. Or some event.

It is normally negative,

It is normally opinionated.

I was just in one of those conversations last week with some colleagues.

A mutual friend of ours took a risk and began creating content.

“Why would they do that?” “They don’t know what they are talking about!” “I got off the platform because I only see them on it now!”

This one was visceral, but I know it isn’t the first time.

Whether it is a friend doing something different. The world changing in a way we do not expect. Or even something as small as someone saying something you may not agree with.

It happens to everyone.

And I know, for certain, that everyone reacts in a way similar to how my colleagues reacted to our mutual friend.

I am guilty.

Younger me, I know you are guilty of it too.

I want to offer a different perspective.

A change I am making when I find myself in those circumstances again.

I hope you’ll join me.

It is a simple practice. At least in theory.

It may be more difficult than you expect…

Lean in.

So often we as humans too easily disagree. Too easily cast judgment. Too easily react negatively to those situations we’ve all been in.

Next time you find yourself in one of those situations, I encourage you to do something different. I want you to lean in.

What does that mean?

Simply, instead of getting furious…

Get curious.

Why did that friend start posting content?

Why did my boss get defensive when I brought up a certain subject?

Why are so many people disagreeing with what this person is saying?

Rather than join the circus, I implore you to lean in and get curious.

Imagine what would have happened if fewer people condemned MLK in the 60s.

Would we still need movements?

Or if more people leaned into the internet in the late 90s.

How different could your family be?

Even still to come:

What if more people start leaning into AI?

Or post content like their friend?

Or inquire more about a subject that others dismiss?

I will make you a bet.

If you decide to lean in rather than condemn.

Lean in rather than judge.

Lean in rather than dismiss…

You may catch onto an idea. A subject. A movement that could very well transform you for the better.

Lean in, younger me, lean in.

Best,

Older You