3 Golden Rules for Life

 1,010 Words | 4 Min 24 Sec Read

Dear Younger Me,

I happened upon a video that may change your life.

Give it a watch below. I’ll explain more after you finish:

For context, the gentleman giving the speech is Broadway performer André De Shields after winning his first Tony Award (highest honor in theatre - think Oscar or Grammy for theatre). After diving deeper, I discovered the De Shields was 73 years old when he won his first Tony - 50 YEARS INTO HIS CAREER.

Spending 50 years getting to the mountain top is awe inspiring. Beyond that, De Shields was able to perform at the highest level long into the years when many of his peers retire. De Shields could have done the same, but instead of hanging it up after a solid career, he pushed his limit to get that elusive Tony award… and he did it.

Even more extraordinary was what De Shields did after his name was called for the award. During the greatest moment of his professional career, while accepting his award, he did something very unique. Very practical.

He shared 3 golden rules that everyone can implement to achieve their goals.

These were the three rules André De Shields shared that got him the Tony at 73:

Three simple rules that you can easily implement starting tomorrow. Simple in practice, but like Andre’s second rule, will take time and effort to integrate into your life’s rhythm.

Below I split each golden rule into its own section. Except rather than explaining them further I want to try something different. Check it out below:

“Surround yourself with people whose eyes light up when they see you coming.”

A study by Holt-Lunstad found that individuals with strong social relationships have a 50% increased likelihood of survival compared to those with weaker social connections.

Some Questions to Consider:
Think of the most recent time you were greeted by someone with genuine enthusiasm? Write that person’s name down. Maybe it is a colleague at work, or a family member, or even a roommate that you’ve lived with for a couple of years. Now, answer the following question:

How much time do you spend with that person?

Literally go back through your week and count in 30 minute increments. Similar to logging your hours for work. How much time did you spend with that person?

Action Plan:
I want you to take two actions:

1. Pull out your phone and send a text to the person who came to mind. The text can be as simple as “Hey, thanks for making me feel genuinely seen.” It may feel weird, but you want to take something away from this letter, right? Send that text.

2. Complete the guided reflection two more times with two more people who greeted you with genuine enthusiasm. After you have three total people in mind, make an intentional effort to send them a text and schedule time to be with them. It may be for 15 minutes over coffee, or an entire Sunday going to church, brunch, and watching football. Whatever it may be, commit to reaching out and planning time to be with them. The goal is to purposefully understand and be able to increase the time spent with the people that genuinely enjoy you.

“Slowly is the fastest way to get to where you want to be.”

Two words:

Instant gratification.

So many people will never be able to make their way toward their goals because of the tsunami of instant gratification that has flooded modern society. Whether it is social media or fast food, the access to things that allow us to feel quick blasts of pleasure hinder us from this second golden rule. Try out the following to work against the pressures of instant gratification:

Reflective Exercise:
Think of your work (owner, employee, student, etc.). In what areas of your work are you pushing hard to achieve quick results? That first $10,000 month. That deadline for your team’s project. That 4.0 semester GPA. Whatever it may be, reflect on the following question:

“How might embracing a slower, more deliberate approach enrich the journey and enhance the outcome?”

Weekly Challenge:
You already have your work in mind. This week, choose one daily activity you usually rush through (if someone’s life is one the line I suggest thinking of a task slightly more mundane). Practice doing it slightly slower and more methodical than normal. This will be tedious and probably annoying, but pay attention to every detail and enjoy the process. Note any changes in how you feel during and after the activity.

“The top of one mountain is the bottom of the next… so keep climbing.”

As humans, we crave growth. I know I do. I know you do. But what happens after we finally “achieve”? Continue to seek opportunities that push you out of your comfort zone – they'll invigorate you and prevent you from stagnating.

Visionary Prompt:
Think of recent goal you just achieved. It may be easier since New Years resolutions were just over a month ago.

What's the next 'mountain' you see before you?

Write it down by describing it, rather than just what it is. Next, write down why it's important to your journey of growth.

Resilience Building:

How do you celebrate big wins?

Consider how you can use these moments not just as a finish line, but as a launching pad for your next adventure.

Take action by listing one or two 'next steps' you can take towards this new goal.

I hope this felt “different” than my previous letters to you, Younger Me. My goal is that these letters can be not just inspirations, but the bridge from the inspiration to the life that those inspirations call you to be.

Time to get to work,

Older You